thoughts #3

i've got into that cycle again. i've been thinking too much again. i'd be lying if i said i've been happy for months and that everything is going well. i always want just one more day, one more week and i fall behind everytime because i over analyse what they said and i said. it drives me crazy. partying on balconies and throwing away torn pieces of paper out of the window can only help for a couple of hours. when my mind is busy, i am happy, i can only manage keeping a poker face on for so long. sometimes i wish i had the strength right now to cut it out of my life and move on but i'm still floating around like an idiot after months. sometimes moving away just isn't enough